My 5 Biggest Fears as Someone With Personality Disorder:
1. That people will misinterpret my introspection for snobbishness. This may sound strange, but sometimes, when I am daydreaming in my safe place in my head, I may miss things, especially when a lot of people are talking. When I am concentrating with a task I may miss someone asking me a question and completely ignore them.
2. That people will try to change me. The list of symptoms may make me seem like a boring burden to society, but I am not.
3. That people will think I am unintelligent or without a personality. I don’t talk a lot or maintain conversations for long, so I am not your outwardly “interesting” or “entertaining” person.
4. That people will not understand that I do not feel the social attachment people usually feel. I do not want to be mean, and I know other people will make plenty of other friends than me, but I want people to know I am not rejecting them because of who they are; I just do not feel a lot of social connections to people.
5. That people will not understand I need a lot of alone time. I sometimes even feel self-conscience and awkward alone in my room, just because so much time alone can be considered unusual.
Having a personality disorder can be hard, but it is also rewarding in some ways. I am a stronger, more open-minded, understanding person because of what I go through, and I find certain traits of schizoid personality disorder, like my creativity and independence, can help me through life.